Looking up

2016 has been a year filled with transformations for our family: houses, cars, kids, schools, jobs, bodies, minds, finances. I've experienced what author and business coach Jim Rohn was referring to when he said, "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." And change, we have.

Our new neighborhood is amazing. My lawn mower wouldn't start the other day. My next door neighbor Vince wouldn't leave my side until he had done absolutely everything he could think of to fix it. One neighbor helped me build in all the shelving in my garage. One lent me his tools so I could edge properly without hurting myself. One neighbor brought me flowers on my birthday. One dropped by caramel popcorn for no reason at all. One gave me a pro grill for free. One brought my daughters some toys she knew they would enjoy. I loved the pastoral life we lived on the lake surrounded by cow fields. As much as I loved the lake and the cows I wouldn't trade them for Vince and the rest of my new neighbors.

Our new car is awesome. We were commuting in a 1992 Buick, now a 2007 Mercedes. Solid improvement. I love driving it every chance I get.

Our kids are fantastic. They're making new friends, learning new things and taking baby steps towards self-reliance and personal satisfaction.

Our institutions of learning are challenging, supportive and inspiring. Our kids were homeschooled last year, it was great, but required more of me than I was willing to give after a solid 15-month stretch. So this year we re-enrolled the kids in public school. A well-educated, happy, talented team of folks made sure my kids can read, write, dance, run, draw, type, talk, be silent, deal with stress, sing, and enjoy their peers. Summer vacation starts in two weeks and then I'll have eight weeks to get my fill of homeschooling. God bless homeschoolers, I'm all for it. But I need a team.

My job is blowing my mind on a daily basis. I had no intention of "working." I loved my 2015 job of raising my kids, creating my home and supporting my husband. Those plans quickly changed when I lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks and decided to pay it forward and help others do the same as a professional health coach. I have a nearly full roster of clients who are looking to transform their health in one way or another. I have clients who are sleeping better, shedding extra weight, clearing up their foggy minds and transforming their lives. One of my clients no longer needs a heart bypass surgery that she was preparing for when she met me. I have one client who comes home from a nine-hour day at work and is energized to plan trips, remodel his home and serve more at his church instead of sitting on the couch each night watching TV. Working with these people inspires me. My job brings a new joy and satisfaction to my life that did not exist six months ago.

My mind has never been so clear and active. The fog has lifted. I have insights, ideas and dreams that never occurred to me before. I'm setting and reaching "impossible" goals. I'm planning weekly, monthly, yearly and 5-year goals for all major areas of my life. Have you read the book Oola Moola? Great book. It outlines the seven areas of your life that need your attention in order to be successful in a harmonious way. They are referred to in the book as the 7 F's: Faith, Family, Friends, Field (as in career field), Fitness, Finance, Fun. Taking a look at my life through that lens has really helped me progress in many areas of my life at once. Why not? Who says you can only progress in one area at a time? Why not all seven? Bam. You can. I am.

Our financial picture is personal. Lets just say, it's good and transitioning to even better...just like the rest of my life.

I hope 2016 is bringing you closer to the life you envision!

Adam and Lindsey tell their tale of Optimal Health

If you missed the national video conference that Adam Shumway and I did about our ongoing health transformation, you can watch it anytime! Here is the link:https://vimeo.com/152521624 
We're featured about 25 minutes in for roughly 10 minutes. Reach out to me if you're ready to start a transformation of your own! I could show you a million before and after pictures, but I'd rather show you yours!

We've lost 55 pounds together! We've been so thrilled and inspired ourselves that we've decided to pay it forward and become health coaches! I love helping others transform their lives in ways they never imagined! My job is rewarding, confined to David's nap time from my home office, and fun! I'd love to share more if you are interested! We're on a mission to restore hope and health, join us!

Journey to Optimal Health Video Conference

It's been eight weeks since Adam and I began a new Optimal Health Program and our results are exciting! We have created an atmosphere of healthy awareness in our home that did not exist before. We have learned and implimented a variety of new habits. And we've dropped 55 pounds as a couple!

We will be featured on a National Video Conference tonight at 7 PM PST.  We plan to discuss our transformation and how this program has changed us and our family. You are all invited!

Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/8054320201
Or join by phone: 

+1 415 762 9988 (US Toll) or +1 646 568 7788 (US Toll)
Meeting ID: 805 432 0201

Cheerful

My darling 13-month-old son David is sick. He's had a 102+ degree temperature for the better part of the past three days. He is whiney and needy and miserable. He also laid in my lap for a solid hour just to be held. I'm pretty sure that's never happened before.

This sudden spike in David's needs has made managing my homeschool schedule taxing. In fact lots of things have happened suddenly to tax me.

I woke up this morning dreading how this 12-hour stretch might go. Then I had an idea. Why don't we start this day with a prayer?

My Mom used to have a cross-stitched saying hanging in our kitchen that said, "If your day is hemmed with prayer it is less likely to unravel."

I usually pray with Adam, but this morning I prayed with the kids too.

Then I took a deep breath and read my scriptures. Doctrine and Covenants section 123, when I came to verse 17 I knew this message was just for me, "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God and for his arm to be revealed."

Today this was my mantra, "Cheerfully do all things that lie in your power."

As a result, I have a new favorite scripture. I know God our Heavenly Father loves me. His arm has been revealed in my daily life. My faith is stronger. Now I just need to work on the "cheerfully" part.

A Virtuous Woman

The role of women is challenged constantly. Images, behaviors and laws can create confusion about what it means to be, raise or support a virtuous woman. In Proverbs 31:10 it says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31 describes in detail what virtuous women should strive for. The ideals found in Proverbs 31 are summarized as follows:

1. Faith - A virtuous woman serves God with all her heart, might, mind and strength. She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways.

2. Marriage – A virtuous woman respects her husband. She does him good all the days of her life. She is a trustworthy helpmeet.

3. Mothering - A virtuous woman teaches her children the ways of her Father in Heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go.

4. Health – A virtuous woman cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family.

5. Service - A virtuous woman serves her husband, her family, her friends, and her neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable.

6. Finances - A virtuous woman spends money wisely. She is careful to purchase quality items, which her family needs.

7. Industry – A virtuous woman works willingly with her hands. She sings praises to God and does not grumble while completing her tasks.

8. Homemaking – A virtuous woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her.

9. Time - A virtuous woman uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord.

10. Beauty – A virtuous woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ. She uses her creativity to create beauty.

As you read the summations consider how you may improve these areas in your life or encourage these ideals in the women you influence. 

These virtues have been further reinforced in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. 

When we become confused about where peace and happiness come from look to these areas and see if you can improve one area at a time.  

If you become discouraged because you aren't living up to your highest potential; know that with God all things are possible. You never have to run faster than you are able. Be generous in your estimation of yourself. Your price is far above rubies, right now. 

Do Your Research: 10 books you should read if you're thinking about homeschooling

When I was trying to decide if I was going to homeschool I read a lot of books. I feel like that process really prepared me for what was coming. I talked with a few people I know who are homeschooling, and read a few blogs, but I felt like I needed to know a lot more in order to make the best decision for me and my family. Each family is different, each child is different, and each homeschooling parent is different so coming to a conclusion is a very individual process.

If you want to understand more about homeschooling I recommend taking a look at the following books:

1. Dumbing us Down by John Taylor Gatto
2. To the Shore of a Child's Ocean series by Chris Manning
3. How Children Learn by John Caldwell Holt
4. The Homeschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith
5. Learning All the Time by John Holt
6. The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith
7. Unschooling Rules by Clark Aldrich
8. The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by Raymond S. Moore
9. Homegrown Kids by Raymond S. Moore
10. The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel Gathercole

First 30 Days of Homeschooling

I'm not going to lie, I'm loving homeschooling. In the first 30 days of this experiment our life and family have taken on a whole new rhythm. Here is what our typical homeschool day looks like.

Up at 7.
Breakfast and Religious Studies around 8.
Gym at 9:15, Mommy time and kids work on writing and french assignments
10:45 Home for Reading, Art and Lunch
12 Riding bikes and taking a walk together
1:30 Quiet reading time
2:30 Piano or Unit Studies (for example Jellyfish or Washington State or Yoga)

After that everyone kinda does their own thing for a while until it is time to make dinner, which the girls help me with so they can learn to cook.

Each day is a little different, but usually awesome. In the last 30 days my biggest challenge has been homeschooling in spite of my teething baby. But even that hasn't been too terrible.

For me, homeschooling rocks because:

My kids are gaining knowledge and experience in a variety of subject areas.
I've had more opportunities to shape their character than I did when they were gone for eight hours a day.
It feels like we're making the most of everyday.
We spend time doing things that we enjoy, activities that bring us joy everyday.

I'm not saying every minute of every day is blissful, but it is satisfying and fun. I'm adding a few highlight photos from our first month as home schoolers.

Yes, I'm going to try home schooling

Wow, it's been six months since I've written a post. Time flies when you're having fun! I'm not interested in writing a long recap of the last six months, but I will say it's been memorable. Baby David is now 23 pounds, and in the 99 percentile for height and weight. He is happy, healthy and doing great. We took the girls to Disneyland for the first time in August along with David and our Japanese homestay guest, Mai. Adam and I both received new assignments at church that are keeping us busy. We love our congregation, so we're looking forward to serving.

And the big news; I decided to homeschool. This is something I've been thinking about and researching for a long time. I've considered it before, but at this point it finally feels right. Adam and I discussed the endeavor at length and then came to a consensus that we would give  "the experiment" a year. We'll evaluate the viability of our plans next June.

So why am I doing this? I don't have a problem with the schools in Kent per se. I wasn't upset with their school teachers. I don't plan on teaching them about Jesus all day long. I actually enjoyed having free time to myself while they were at school, so have I lost my mind? This is what some of my friends have questioned me about. :) And I don't blame anyone for thinking I'm crazy.

It all started getting real on the last day of school. Teryn came home from Kindergarten with a stack of papers to work on over the summer that represented her curriculum for first grade. Reading, math, sight words. I decided I wanted to find out what she could do with these assignments and sat her right down to test her. Out of 86 sight words she could read 79. She finished three pages of math within 5 minutes and didn't make a single mistake. I asked her to read a few pages from the readings, no problem again, no mistakes. That's when I realized she was capable of progressing in a timeframe different than what the public schools would expect of her.

I'm practical. I'm not going to expect the system to change for my child. She's not "gifted" or "highly capable" from the school district's perspective. So I decided that if I wanted Teryn to do more than just review the stuff she already knew I was going to have to teach her myself. I recognize that not everyone can do this, for a variety of reasons. I can, and I'm going to try. I may fail. But for this year my children are going to learn in our home from me. We'll see what happens and I will happily share what I find on this blog.

I have one week of experience. Just one. So far I feel pretty great about how things are going. We are reading, writing, adding, subtracting, studying French, cooking, cleaning, harvesting our garden, sculpting with play dough, learning to play the piano, and having great discussions throughout the day. My kids are delightful to me. They seem genuinely interested in everything I've tried to teach them so far. My days seem to have a fluid, natural flow. We rest, we eat, we talk, we learn from books and CD's and DVD's. So far, it's really actually, unbelievably working.

The kids are happy. On our second day of class their aunt and uncle came to town from Idaho and they got to go fishing in the middle of the perfectly sunny Seattle afternoon. It was lovely.

I am happy. I feel a sense of satisfaction I hadn't anticipated. I expected this to feel more like torture, but I'm finding it feels totally pleasant.

I'll keep you posted, but, so far, so good. Tres bien, tres tres bien.

David Hollister Shumway

My son, David was born on December 27, 2013. It's been two months since he was born and those have simultaneously been the shortest and longest two months of my life. This time around I have opted to stay home and focus on raising my baby rather than working and employing a nanny to fill in at home. The first few weeks I barely slept and felt like a zombie some days, but that resolved itself quickly as David began to sleep better and eat more. At this point, I'm only getting up with him for a feeding at 3 AM most nights. He is a great little sleeper, and he loves to cuddle. I love devoting my time to him. I don't take anything he does for granted. I pay attention to everything and find that I've never enjoyed my life as much as I do right now. The phase he's in now is characterized by cuddles, kisses and cooing. What's not to love? These are a few photos from the day we came home from the hospital.

When I got home from the hospital my daughter was playing around with my camera and lost it. It wasn't until tonight that I found it. I get the feeling I'll be updating my blog much more regularly now that I have use of my camera again. 

My Uncle Stephan recently came to town and I took this photo of him holding David.  

I'm sure there will be many more posts about motherhood, babies and raising a boy. Tonight, I'm going to get some sleep while I can.

Family Portraits

Every year during the Fall we try and take family portraits. These priceless photographs not only document our family journey, but they also come in handy when I'm putting together Christmas cards. This year a good friend of mine with a photography business took them for us. I was nervous about taking them while seven months pregnant, but they turned out to be my favorites. I look forward to future years which will include David, but in the Fall of 2013 it was just us four.

23 Weeks

On September 14, 2003 I gave birth to my first child; a daughter named Jenessa Michelle Shumway. She weighed one pound, two ounces. I was 23 weeks along. The doctors at Utah Valley Medical Center explained to us that babies are not considered viable outside the womb until 26 weeks. I have seen some miracle babies that have survived, but Jenessa only lived and breathed for one hour and then her tiny lungs gave out and she passed away.

Today, exactly ten years later, I am 23 weeks pregnant with Jenessa's little brother, David. I can't help but reflect on such a strange coincidence.

Almost nothing about my pregnancy with David has been the same as with Jenessa: I live in a different state, I'm not juggling a pregnancy, a job and school at the same time, I feel super healthy as opposed to super sick, I am surrounded by family and I feel prepared for what pregnancy/labor/motherhood is all about. I am a new woman with a whole new outlook than when I was 23 years old.

I forgive myself for what I didn't know and couldn't understand at 23.

I believe everything that happens in our life happens in a divine right order. There are lessons we as individuals need to learn and they can be learned in no other way. I believe a kind and loving Father in Heaven sends us what we need exactly when we need it.

Baby David is doing great. Because I have "high-risk pregnancies" I have an ultrasound every two weeks. Every two weeks my doctors tell me some variation of the same thing, "Everything looks great, see you in two weeks."  I'm grateful for their expert attention, which brings me peace and comfort, especially during this twenty-third week. Perhaps there is a little guardian angel watching over me and David as well.

Prayers

Tonight during bedtime prayers Mia said, "Please help Mom not to be sick tomorrow, and next month and always." It made me laugh out loud. Poor kid, she really has no concept that my sickness is 100% pregnancy induced. This week has been one for the record books though.

I spent Sunday night in the ER with contractions, which were stopped and we were sent home when it was determined that all was well.

Tuesday I had my cerclage surgery, which required about 24 hours of recovery.

I have on-going nausea and vomiting.

No wonder Mia is over Mommy being sick.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and feeling optimistic about the next 22 weeks. I think the worst is behind us.

It feels good to be having this baby here in Seattle. My family and in-laws have gone above and beyond to help me during all the sickness and surgeries. My friends have been helping with the girls. The weather hasn't been blistering hot. Adam has been such a blessing because he has been willing and available whenever I needed him.  I have experienced so much support during this pregnancy. It feels like all our prayers are being answered and I'm so grateful.

SMASH

I've been hooked on the NBC show SMASH since it first aired in 2012. I'm a huge Katherine Mcphee fan, but my devotion to the show goes deeper than that. I love the way the dramatic and emotional songs from the show parallel  my own internal struggles.

The most recent episode featured a song called, "Heart-Shaped Wreckage." I love this song. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I still believe in love that lasts forever. There is not a love in this world that doesn't produce some wreckage...that goes for any relationship.

Ruth Bell Graham is credited with saying, "A good marriage is a union of two good forgivers."

May we all be good forgivers sooner than later.

Adventures in Raw Food with Reiko

Our second client from Japan arrived 2 days ago. Among other things, Reiko Ueda is interested in sampling American-style raw food. I am no expert in raw food, but I am an expert in trying new things and doing research. Over the next month while Reiko is staying with us I intend to incorporate one complete raw food meal each day, some days we will have two and occasionally three. So far eating raw is much easier than I anticipated. I love fresh fruits and vegetables, so what is there to be intimidated about? Like everything else in life, raw food diets can be as easy or as complicated as you want them to be.

Today we made a green smoothie for lunch that turned out to be delicious. Here is the recipe if you feel like putting your blender to good use. I'll keep you posted if we discover any other winning recipes.


Kale and Pear Smoothie with Herbs
Serves 2

2 cups kale

1 1/2 cups water

2 ripe pears, cored
1/4 cup herbs (parsley and cilantro both work great)
1 frozen banana (remove the peel, cut into 1-inch slices, and freeze in a plastic bag overnight)
1 cup ice
1 Tablespoon flax seeds (optional)
Protein powder (optional)
1/4 avocado (optional)

Blend water, greens, and herbs for 15 seconds - 1 minute (depending on your blender) on high. Then add the pear, banana, ice, flax seeds (if using), protein powder (if using), and avocado (if using) and blend for an additional 30 seconds - 1 minute. 

Mai Yoshikawa

17 months ago when we flew into Seattle from Osaka we thought we'd be on a plane back to Japan in eight weeks max. Ha! You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men. I can't believe things have worked out this way. 17 months ago I would not have believed anyone saying that we'd still be in Seattle more than a year later. Regardless of what I thought we'd be doing now, we aren't. Ha! It just makes me smile the way life seems to work out better than you ever imagined.

When our dreams of living in Japan ended we started lining out a plan to bring Japan to us. Two weeks ago our first Japanese guest arrived from Osaka. Mai Yoshikawa is 49 and she would kill me if she knew I told you that! Mai is here to improve her fluency in English, experience American culture, and shop! On her first night with us she asked why we were going to bed at 11 PM? In Japan, shopping can be done around the clock and Mai sleeps an average of only four hours a night to accommodate her favorite pastime. She would shop all day and all night if I would let her...but that wouldn't improve her fluency now would it? I know, I'm no fun at all.

Mai at Rain & Co. Salon/Dayspa

Mai has been working hard on basic vocabulary, verb conjugation and overcoming the overwhelming desire to say everything in Japanese. I'm so proud of her. Along with English lessons she has been able to attend the Pacific Northwest Ballet's Nutcracker, spend a day at the spa, workout American-style, shop at five different Malls, try Mexican food for the first time ever and attend several American Christmas parties and concerts. We are planning a trip to Victoria, B.C. this weekend. Before she returns to Japan we are going to go snowboarding at least once among other exciting activities.

Our whole family is pitching in to make this experience unforgettable for Mai. Her husband sent her a box of Japanese movies, which she really needed considering we sleep for 8 hours a night. Off the bat they wouldn't play in our "Region 1" players. Fortunately, I am married to a technology genius. Adam hacked a DVD player and made the movies play. Mai practically cried with happiness. Go Adam! Despite his many successes with Mai, he will never be make all of her American dreams come true, she wants meet Harrison Ford. LOL.

We are really enjoying having Mai here. She is helping us with our Japanese. We laugh during every lesson and almost every conversation. One of her favorite topics to discuss is how big everything in American is, including Americans! Time to hit the gym. :) The girls adore Mai and like to help her with her English. "No, no Mai, L-unch, not runch-e," said Teryn.

She is teaching me how to make Japanese food twice a week...she asked to because she needs a break from all this crazy American food. She is NOT a fan of Kraft Mac & Cheese. Her exact sentiment was, "Noodles, yes, cheese, yes, noodles and cheese, NO." Haha! Mai bought some umeboshi (pickled plums) last time we went to Uwajimaya (local Japanese grocery store). Shoot. me. in. the. face. Yuck! So sour. Everything else Mai has cooked I have LOVED and so have the kids. She made yakisoba one night and okonomiyaki tonight. 100% successes. She's like the Japanese mother-in-law I never had. She also taught me the Japanese way to prepare rice; rice we had to shop at four different stores to find. She's kinda picky about her rice. :)

There is a Japanese saying:
雨降って地固まる (ame futte chi katamaru) Literally: after the rain, earth hardens 

Meaning: Adversity builds character./After a storm, things will stand on more solid ground than they did before.


Being jarred  from Utah, to Japan, back to Seattle and now to Kent has been difficult but I am very thankful for the more solid ground I'm standing on now. I hope Mai will enjoy her time in America, rain or shine.

Thanksgiving

Have you ever imagined what it would have been like at the first Thanksgiving? In a word, rough. Massachusetts in November is cold. The pilgrims were struggling in so many ways: sickness, hunger, Indians, and severe weather. These people were struggling to establish a life from scratch on foreign soil. In 1623 there was a near catastrophic drought in the Plymouth colony, and yet the Governor William Bradford wrote in his journal:

And afterwards the Lord sent them such seasonable showers, with interchange of fair warm weather as, through His blessing, caused a fruitful and liberal harvest, to their no small comfort and rejoicing. For which mercy, in time convenient, they also set apart a day of thanksgiving… By this time harvest was come, and instead of famine now God gave them plenty … for which they blessed God. And the effect of their particular planting was well seen, for all had … pretty well … so as any general want or famine had not been amongst them since to this day.

On a daily basis there are unpleasant circumstances that must be faced. The car needs repairs, your kids haven't finished their homework on time, you sleep through your alarm on the day when you have an important early morning appointment, your new mattress isn't nearly as "cloud-like" as the sales people made you believe it would be, it rains when you have outdoor family photos scheduled....the list could go on forever. Despite challenges, through the mercy of God, I feel thankful for so much.


I'm thankful for the home we can peacefully enjoy as a family.
I'm thankful for friends who visit bringing cheer and goodwill this time  of year.
I'm thankful to feel warm and safe when it hits 30 degrees at night.
I'm thankful that our new church congregation has made us feel so welcome.
I'm thankful that my daughters are happy, healthy and thriving.
I'm thankful for my grandparents and ancestors.
I'm thankful for my parents, all six of them.
I'm thankful for my siblings and in-laws, all fifteen of them.
I'm thankful for my darling nieces and nephews.
I'm thankful for our family budget.
I'm thankful for an understanding of my infinite worth (and yours) as a human being.
I'm thankful for a sound body and mind.
I'm thankful for ever-expanding business and personal opportunities.
I'm thankful for a generous and thoughtful spouse.
I'm thankful for 33 wonderful years of life.


This Thanksgiving, I hope you have many things to be thankful for.

Seeing God's Hand in Our Lives

On saturday I helped host an event for the women of my church. The activity went from 10 AM to 2 PM and involved making crafts and a luncheon. The committee for the event had been making plans for months; what crafts will we do? what food will we serve? where will we have the activity? Many hours were spent meeting, purchasing food and craft supplies. By friday night, the night before the event, my nerves were a little raw.

As we met on Friday night to set things up I couldn't help but think, "Is anyone going to come? Are these crafts the right crafts? Do we have enough soup and rolls?" Every conceivable worry under the sun was plaguing me. We set things up preliminarily and went home to get some sleep before meeting back at the church at 9:30 AM to put the final touches on.

Despite all our hard work I went home feeling wound-up and filled with dread.

Fortunately for me, my husband is a very patient man. In my moment of inconsolable fear he reminded me that this activity was meant to help the women of the church bond and come unto Christ. "Perhaps," he suggested, "you should talk to your Father about how you are feeling and see if he can help." What a man! I did just as he suggested and felt an overwhelming peace and comfort that everything would be fine.

In the morning, I packed up the food and supplies and headed for the church. I was the first to arrive and when I walked into the gym I found all our tables had been put away. All the food, supplies and decorations had been taken down and left in a pile on the stage. There was a janitor mopping the floor, which was soaking wet. For one moment I contemplated throwing my pot of soup on the floor and calling the Bishop to tell him the activity was cancelled. Then, that same feeling of peace and comfort filled my heart and instead I began again to arrange all that was in my power to arrange. Soon my committee members arrived and had the same greeting in our gym. Somehow we managed to forge ahead and put together the activity as the floors dried and the janitor pitched in.

Before we knew it, it was 10 AM. Ladies started to arrive. They made crafts. They talked. They laughed. They ate soup, rolls, vegetables with dip, brownies and lemon bars. The projects were fun and cute. The food was delicious. It had worked!

Around 2 o'clock I was standing in the kitchen dipping chocolate spoons with some of the ladies when I looked at the vats of soup on the stove and thought, "What are we going to do with all this left-over soup?" At that exact moment I heard a knock at the kitchen door. I answered it myself and found a dirty and disheveled man who looked to be about thirty and a little girl holding his hand, who was around five, the same age as my daughters.

He quickly explained that he needed help and wondered if there was a Bishop among us? He said, "Someone told me that if you go to the Mormon church they will help you." I told him there was no Bishop at the church. I asked him what he needed and he explained that he needed gas money to get his family of five to shelter. I remembered the soup. I asked him if they had had lunch? He replied that they hadn't really eaten in days. With the help of the other ladies we loaded him up with soup, rolls, vegetables with dip, brownies and lemon bars.

I don't carry much cash these days, but I found a $10 bill in my wallet and offered it to him. He thanked me and headed out the door.

After they left we just stood in the kitchen and cried together. I know there are hungry people in this world, but for me being approached by them is very rare.

God's hand was made manifest in that moment. God knows each of us, our needs, our circumstances. He knows. He calmed my heart in my hour of need and he sent this man and his family to my door in their hour of need. It was no coincidence that we were at that specific Mormon church building.  Our leftovers were no coincidence. I was right were I was supposed to be.

Mother Teresa once said, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Our little activity for the women of the church was overflowing with love.

In the Bible, Jesus told Peter, "If ye love me, feed my sheep."

I thank God, my Heavenly Father for my life, my husband, my church, and opportunities to feed his sheep.

Self-care

Almost everyday I have a conversation with someone about taking care of yourself. Recently it came up with a lady I go to church with who stays home with her busy toddlers, like me. Caring for yourself has come up with strangers at the YMCA, my yoga instructor, my brother, my neighbor and my landlord. The fact that this subject keeps coming up has made me consider my position more consciously. How does one "take care of themselves?"

There are millions of self-help books dedicated to this topic, seminars taught daily from coast-to-coast and millions of psychiatrists, counselors and therapists who have dedicated their lives to helping others discover the best ways to take care of themselves. I offer only my opinion. I hope something I suggests helps you to take better care of yourself.

Psychology Today says of self-care, "Self-care is not self-indulgence.  Popularly, the terms self-care and self-indulgence are used interchangeably, as in "Oh, go ahead, indulge.  You deserve it."  We tell ourselves that we are practicing self-care when, in fact, we are engaging in self-indulgence.  Self-indulgence is characterized by avoidance of the effortful and substitution of quick and easy antidotes.  We tell ourselves that the stresses of the day have drained our energy and that vegging on the sofa with a quart of ice cream is all we can expect of ourselves.  Rather than shouldering the hard work of self-care, we settle for temporary and largely symbolic fixes - some of which actually stress our systems further."

Self-care begins with a healthy diet, regular exercise and getting enough sleep. If you know these areas of your life need improvement, start there. Make simple goals for improvement that won't overwhelm you, for example, "This week I will eat one salad instead of a carb-heavy meal I normally eat."  Or, "This week I will ask a friend to join me in doing a physical activity I enjoy, like playing tennis." Just having a goal written down on your fridge can help you remember that you and your needs are important. 

Here are some strategies for relieving tension and caring for yourself:
1. Deep Breathing
2. Guided Imagery
3. Mediation
4. Progressive muscle relaxation
5. Yoga
6. Praying
7. Music
8. Walking outside in the sunshine
9. Positive self-talk
10. Playing with children

One critical mistake I've made when managing my stress and tension is relying too heavily on my spouse. People get married to have someone around, besides their mother, who will tell them everything is going to be ok and give them a band-aid. This is a helpful and positive role your spouse can play in your life, but they are not an open keg you can tap to fill your emotional cup. Hence the SELF in self-care. 

I know it can seem daunting, but when you accept the challenge of caring for yourself the rewards are huge. You, your spouse, your children, your friends, neighbors, and complete strangers all benefit. 

I found that positive affirmations can also be extremely helpful in relieving stress, shifting your awareness and reframing your situation. Here are a few that have been especially helpful to me:

"I accept myself for who I am right now."
"I allow myself to think and dream in unlimited ways." 
"I expect only the best to happen and it does."
"I trust that everything comes at the perfect time and in the perfect way."
"All my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity and vision." 

There is a Chinese Proverb that says, "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Spend some time by yourself. Get to know who you are and what you need. You'll find much more satisfying solutions to your challenges if you do. Take good care of yourself. 

Lead Me

I love this song and just thought I'd share. Keep up the good work Fathers.

Mia's First Day of School

My oldest daughter, Mia started school today. She is the beneficiary of a Federal education grant that her school administrators applied for. As a result, she and 19 other five year-olds get four extra weeks of public education. Her first day of class consisted of a school provided breakfast, storytime, arts and crafts time, math, recess, and school provided lunch. She mentioned that she played "princess and the dragon with a boy named Micheal who has yellow hair." Sounds good.

I was surprised to learn that the kids would be getting breakfast and lunch as part of the program...but I'm not complaining. Her teacher explained that they want the children to be able to focus on learning, not grumbling tummies. Hmm. I always thought my daughters tummy was my responsibility. I don't want to get on a political soapbox here, but these kinds of things are happening a lot. Why? Why do they expect that I won't feed my child? What's next? School showers? Bunkhouses in the back for kids who can't get a good nights sleep at home? I honestly don't know what to make of it. On the one hand I'm pleased with the convenience offered, but on the other hand I feel like I'm getting benched as the chief cook and bottle washer. And don't even get me started with, whose paying for all this.

In any event, I asked Mia how the first day went and she said, "It was AWESOME!" Then I asked her if she wants to come back again tomorrow and she said, "YES!" Our adventures in education have only just begun. Wish us luck!