Life is What Happened...

...when you had something else planned.

This is my Dad's favorite quote of all times. He shares this sentiment with me almost daily. It has never felt more relevant than now. We certainly didn't plan to be back in Seattle right now. When we left for Japan nearly four months ago we planned to be gone for at least a year. Then our visa expired. What can you do? We had to come home. We've been told that our working visas will take another 1-2 months to approve. WOW. One to two months.

So here's our plan (we'll see how it works out): 1. Take Japanese lessons 2. Get Mia the care she needs for her broken arm to heal 3. Try and plan some weekend get-aways to visit friends 4. Adam is looking for a part-time job 5. Stay busy to keep the girls and my parents from going crazy.

I have had some awesome experiences while being here. I feel satisfied that for the time being we are doing what we need to do and learning what we need to learn. Sometimes the lessons we need to learn involve our children breaking their arms.

Broken arm update

Mia is doing great. The ER visit ended up costing $5300. She will have roughly $4000 in care before the cast is removed. I'll let you know what happens with the costs. We are not "residents" of Washington state, so our options are limited. I may end up having to pay the entire cost out of pocket. If I was a resident of Mexico in Washington state illegally the cost out of pocket would be zero.

Mia's Broken Arm

I have never, ever been uninsured. I grew up on my Father's medical plan in Seattle, then was married and added to my husband's medical insurance in Utah. In Japan, when you are a citizen you are enrolled in the government healthcare program. It is a fairly socialist kind of operation as far as I can tell. So here we are in Seattle, no American job, no insurance, no idea when we will be heading back to Japan and my daughter breaks her arm. Hmm. I sense a life lesson coming on.

What is it like to be an injured American without health insurance?

Much to my surprise the ER took Mia without any hassle whatsoever. When you have insurance you spend about 20 minutes at the ER just giving them all your critical information; like social security number, employer, yearly income, insurance account numbers, etc. I got to walk right in, no hassle.

The financial advocate for the hospital came in once things had settled down and gave me a helpful piece of paper, one piece of paper, that would put me in touch with all the relevant people who could provide me with help in paying my bill without the aid of insurance. She was completely helpful.

Mia's arm is currently in a splint, she needed 4 hours of emergency room care and 4 x-rays. She will be treated by an orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday to put on her cast. When asked by the doctor's office about our insurance I explained that we didn't have insurance. She never mentioned money after that. Mia was given the next available appointment, without any insurance or hassle.

Throughout the process to this point it has struck me that these facilities and offices are used to having patients without insurance. I was always under the impression before that being uninsured was the exception, not the rule. It turns out many Americans are uninsured. According to the USAToday in September the number of uninsured Americans is more than 50 million, that's 1 person out of every 6.

In the past our medical bills have almost always been covered by insurance and we were therefore responsible for only 20% of the cost. We have had major medical issues such as; kidney failure, many pregnancy related problems, and recently a pulmonary embolism. We have done our utmost to pay these bills, which, for our family in the past 5 years I would estimate our out of pocket costs to be about $20,000. These bills have cut into our family finances significantly over the years, some we are still paying off. This amount does not include the amount of money taken out of our paychecks every month to pay for health insurance. That amount spent on insurance over that past 5 years was about $14,000!

This new broken arm will come with an estimated price tag of about $1700. I'm not sure what we will have to pay. All I can say is that I feel no concern over the bill, which generally I would be concerned about. I am scratching my head about the ease with which our care is being provided. I wonder what is the point of insurance? I wonder how the medical community is handling 20% of the population being uninsured and still needing care? I simply can't imagine why I have played the game for so long?

I don't claim to understand the healthcare system in Japan, but I know when we get back Mia's arm would be fixed for no out of pocket costs and our cost for the government healthcare system each month is about $100.

My final thought: Americans need a new healthcare system. I don't believe in robbing the rich to give to the poor. I think doctors and medical care providers should be paid what they are worth. I think care should be provided when needed. I think a better way is available. We have strong, smart, capable, creative, talented people in America...a better way needs to be implemented in this great country of ours.

Quality Time with Kids

In one of my recent blogs I mentioned that I think it's very important to spend quality time with kids. I've been making this a priority during my stay in Seattle as much as possible. My 3 brothers live in Seattle with their families, so Mia and Teryn have been spending time with their cousins and I get to be auntie Lindsey. I've been loving it.

So far we've included the kids in a movie night, made blackberry pies, played princesses, gone shopping and had several dinners. I love to see the funny things they do, like Mia for example, starts dancing ballet moves from Swan Lake in stores. The kids also say adorable things, just the other day Mia's cousin said, "I dream about meatballs." LOL. I picked one of the cousins up for a special date the other night and when she got in my car she said, "Aunt Lindsey, this is going to be the best day ever!" We had a great time together and I felt like a million bucks just watching her smile. I love my kids, but my brothers' kids come in a close second.

So. Why do I think spending quality time with kids is so important?
1. It teaches them a million things just to watch you.
2. It teaches you a million things just to watch them.

Jet Lag

My entire family has a really bad case of jet lag. It's 4 AM and all 4 of us are wide awake. It's been brutal for us and everyone that wants to spend time with us. Just in case you have never experienced the effects of jet lag here is what you've been missing:

Headache
Disorientation
Anxiety
Exhaustion
Indigestion
Dehydration
Impaired Coordination

Dealing with these effects has caused us to:

be impatient
be late for appointments
miss appointments and/or activities altogether
seem tired instead of fresh throughout the day


We have tried all the tips and tricks to mitigate our jet lag and so far we have received no benefits. We've been here less than a week but already these effects have given people the impression that we are: lazy, recluses, terrible parents, unreliable, self-involved and annoying in general.

In case you are feeling any of the above please let me assure you we are not purposely any of those things: We are tired. TIRED.

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Sorry, I nodded off there for a second. Oh wait, no I didn't. I'm still wide awake and still TIRED.

Konbanwa.

The Help

I went and saw, The Help, with my Mom tonight. I have really missed my Mom and this movie was just what we needed. We laughed, we cried, we were reminded of the unbreakable bond between women. My Mom is the kind of Mom I wish everyone had. My Mom was always an individual, she was a wife, a mother of 5, but she was pretty good at just being Cathy. She liked to sew, bake bread, garden, read lots of books, take walks and visit friends and family. Somehow she seemed to have time to tend to all of our needs too; she would help my brothers deliver papers for their paper routes, assist in my girl scout troop, have dinner on the table by 5:30 every night and have brown bag lunches ready on the counter for all 5 kids by 7:00 AM. What a woman!

My Mom has always been great with kids. All 5 of her kids are married and she has 11 grandkids to play with...so far. My Mom teaches kindergarten at Benson Hill Elementary School in Renton, WA. She was honored last year by a local TV station for being an outstanding teacher. She knows more silly songs and children's books than Mr. Rogers. When Mia asked her for some chips tonight she turned the conversation into a math problem involving adding and subtracting chips. My Mom is a cool grandma.

In the movie, The Help, one of the main characters is a 29 year-old writer, and her Mom kind of blew it as her mother from time to time. All Moms kind of blow being a good mom from time to time. Lord knows I blow it. There is power in the truth. My Mom is not perfect, never was, never will be...but I love her for giving her imperfect self to the task of being my Mom, then, now and always.

My Mom turns 60 in November and as I sat in the movie theater tonight noticing her grey hair out of the corner of my eye and holding her soft, thin hand I thought about what she means to me and how much I love her. Motherhood can feel like a pretty thankless job sometimes. I am fortunate and thankful to have a Mom like mine.

Japan

Now that I'm back in Seattle I've been thinking a lot about Japan. I love Japan. In only 2 1/2 months I have learned many valuable lessons just from being there and observing life and people. Here are some of the lessons in bullet-point form. (I'm boiling it down for all you Americans with your short attention spans. :) haha

1. Kids are valuable. Your time with them is precious. Make it count and then let them go.

2. You do not need very much food and water to survive, just eat less.

3. Pay cash for everything, it just makes life more simple and pain-free.

4. If you're going to indulge in eating ice cream eat the good stuff.

5. Your community is very important, give and take. Make a contribution with your presence.

6. Take your shoes off at the door, cleaning the floor every day is such a pain.

7. Don't waste electricity, in fact use it as little as possible, it can be fun.

8. Respect your elders.

9. Try to visit your hometown a least once a year.

10. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and challenges.

11. If you have a problem that is making your life miserable change yourself or your life or both.

12. You don't need more than 6 outfits. Use them up. Wear them out. Then buy new things as needed.

13. Ridding yourself of excess is just as easy as saying, "No, thank you." Say, "No, thank you" more often.

14. Spend more time outside.

15. Make more friends, you can never have too many.

Adam and I will be returning to Japan as soon as our new visas have been processed. We will be staying with my parents in the meantime. Mia and Teryn were angels on the 15+ hours of travel time from Japan to Seattle. We may be here anywhere from 1-8 weeks. There is no way of knowing how long it will take. While we're here I have a small wishlist of American things to buy or do. I really want to eat pizza (A large pizza costs about $35 in Japan!!). We want to see movies in a theater (In Japan they cost $20 a ticket and the closest theater to us is an hour away!) We want to buy shoes that fit us (In Japan my feet are size XXXL!!! Otherwise known as size 10 here,) We're going to IKEA to pick up some organizational items. (Helpful in a 500 sq. ft. apartment!) We'll also be stopping by Costco to pick up some maple syrup, peanut butter and M&M's.