Love is not perfect; it's messy and hard sometimes. Like I said, "it requires the best in us," not because it's easy, but because sometimes it's really hard. I was discussing marriage with a friend the other day and asked her why, after 9 years of marriage, she was having such a hard time loving her husband? Her reply, "It's hard to love him when I hate him so much." It's one of those ironic realities of life. I think Gandhi put it best when he said, "Hatred can only be overcome by love." So how do you love someone you hate? This relates to marriage or any other relationship.
You let go. You stop trying to control. You forgive. You remember that no one is without faults. You consider that everyone deserves a break from time to time. You take a deep breath and you let go. Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Give it a try, you will find much more peace than holding on to your anger. Consider the words of Hans Nouwens, "In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."
In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4 it speaks of the qualities of charity. I use the words charity and love inner-changably. It says,
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring. ~Oscar Wilde
I wish you much love, Lindsey