Thanksgiving

Have you ever imagined what it would have been like at the first Thanksgiving? In a word, rough. Massachusetts in November is cold. The pilgrims were struggling in so many ways: sickness, hunger, Indians, and severe weather. These people were struggling to establish a life from scratch on foreign soil. In 1623 there was a near catastrophic drought in the Plymouth colony, and yet the Governor William Bradford wrote in his journal:

And afterwards the Lord sent them such seasonable showers, with interchange of fair warm weather as, through His blessing, caused a fruitful and liberal harvest, to their no small comfort and rejoicing. For which mercy, in time convenient, they also set apart a day of thanksgiving… By this time harvest was come, and instead of famine now God gave them plenty … for which they blessed God. And the effect of their particular planting was well seen, for all had … pretty well … so as any general want or famine had not been amongst them since to this day.

On a daily basis there are unpleasant circumstances that must be faced. The car needs repairs, your kids haven't finished their homework on time, you sleep through your alarm on the day when you have an important early morning appointment, your new mattress isn't nearly as "cloud-like" as the sales people made you believe it would be, it rains when you have outdoor family photos scheduled....the list could go on forever. Despite challenges, through the mercy of God, I feel thankful for so much.


I'm thankful for the home we can peacefully enjoy as a family.
I'm thankful for friends who visit bringing cheer and goodwill this time  of year.
I'm thankful to feel warm and safe when it hits 30 degrees at night.
I'm thankful that our new church congregation has made us feel so welcome.
I'm thankful that my daughters are happy, healthy and thriving.
I'm thankful for my grandparents and ancestors.
I'm thankful for my parents, all six of them.
I'm thankful for my siblings and in-laws, all fifteen of them.
I'm thankful for my darling nieces and nephews.
I'm thankful for our family budget.
I'm thankful for an understanding of my infinite worth (and yours) as a human being.
I'm thankful for a sound body and mind.
I'm thankful for ever-expanding business and personal opportunities.
I'm thankful for a generous and thoughtful spouse.
I'm thankful for 33 wonderful years of life.


This Thanksgiving, I hope you have many things to be thankful for.

Seeing God's Hand in Our Lives

On saturday I helped host an event for the women of my church. The activity went from 10 AM to 2 PM and involved making crafts and a luncheon. The committee for the event had been making plans for months; what crafts will we do? what food will we serve? where will we have the activity? Many hours were spent meeting, purchasing food and craft supplies. By friday night, the night before the event, my nerves were a little raw.

As we met on Friday night to set things up I couldn't help but think, "Is anyone going to come? Are these crafts the right crafts? Do we have enough soup and rolls?" Every conceivable worry under the sun was plaguing me. We set things up preliminarily and went home to get some sleep before meeting back at the church at 9:30 AM to put the final touches on.

Despite all our hard work I went home feeling wound-up and filled with dread.

Fortunately for me, my husband is a very patient man. In my moment of inconsolable fear he reminded me that this activity was meant to help the women of the church bond and come unto Christ. "Perhaps," he suggested, "you should talk to your Father about how you are feeling and see if he can help." What a man! I did just as he suggested and felt an overwhelming peace and comfort that everything would be fine.

In the morning, I packed up the food and supplies and headed for the church. I was the first to arrive and when I walked into the gym I found all our tables had been put away. All the food, supplies and decorations had been taken down and left in a pile on the stage. There was a janitor mopping the floor, which was soaking wet. For one moment I contemplated throwing my pot of soup on the floor and calling the Bishop to tell him the activity was cancelled. Then, that same feeling of peace and comfort filled my heart and instead I began again to arrange all that was in my power to arrange. Soon my committee members arrived and had the same greeting in our gym. Somehow we managed to forge ahead and put together the activity as the floors dried and the janitor pitched in.

Before we knew it, it was 10 AM. Ladies started to arrive. They made crafts. They talked. They laughed. They ate soup, rolls, vegetables with dip, brownies and lemon bars. The projects were fun and cute. The food was delicious. It had worked!

Around 2 o'clock I was standing in the kitchen dipping chocolate spoons with some of the ladies when I looked at the vats of soup on the stove and thought, "What are we going to do with all this left-over soup?" At that exact moment I heard a knock at the kitchen door. I answered it myself and found a dirty and disheveled man who looked to be about thirty and a little girl holding his hand, who was around five, the same age as my daughters.

He quickly explained that he needed help and wondered if there was a Bishop among us? He said, "Someone told me that if you go to the Mormon church they will help you." I told him there was no Bishop at the church. I asked him what he needed and he explained that he needed gas money to get his family of five to shelter. I remembered the soup. I asked him if they had had lunch? He replied that they hadn't really eaten in days. With the help of the other ladies we loaded him up with soup, rolls, vegetables with dip, brownies and lemon bars.

I don't carry much cash these days, but I found a $10 bill in my wallet and offered it to him. He thanked me and headed out the door.

After they left we just stood in the kitchen and cried together. I know there are hungry people in this world, but for me being approached by them is very rare.

God's hand was made manifest in that moment. God knows each of us, our needs, our circumstances. He knows. He calmed my heart in my hour of need and he sent this man and his family to my door in their hour of need. It was no coincidence that we were at that specific Mormon church building.  Our leftovers were no coincidence. I was right were I was supposed to be.

Mother Teresa once said, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Our little activity for the women of the church was overflowing with love.

In the Bible, Jesus told Peter, "If ye love me, feed my sheep."

I thank God, my Heavenly Father for my life, my husband, my church, and opportunities to feed his sheep.

Self-care

Almost everyday I have a conversation with someone about taking care of yourself. Recently it came up with a lady I go to church with who stays home with her busy toddlers, like me. Caring for yourself has come up with strangers at the YMCA, my yoga instructor, my brother, my neighbor and my landlord. The fact that this subject keeps coming up has made me consider my position more consciously. How does one "take care of themselves?"

There are millions of self-help books dedicated to this topic, seminars taught daily from coast-to-coast and millions of psychiatrists, counselors and therapists who have dedicated their lives to helping others discover the best ways to take care of themselves. I offer only my opinion. I hope something I suggests helps you to take better care of yourself.

Psychology Today says of self-care, "Self-care is not self-indulgence.  Popularly, the terms self-care and self-indulgence are used interchangeably, as in "Oh, go ahead, indulge.  You deserve it."  We tell ourselves that we are practicing self-care when, in fact, we are engaging in self-indulgence.  Self-indulgence is characterized by avoidance of the effortful and substitution of quick and easy antidotes.  We tell ourselves that the stresses of the day have drained our energy and that vegging on the sofa with a quart of ice cream is all we can expect of ourselves.  Rather than shouldering the hard work of self-care, we settle for temporary and largely symbolic fixes - some of which actually stress our systems further."

Self-care begins with a healthy diet, regular exercise and getting enough sleep. If you know these areas of your life need improvement, start there. Make simple goals for improvement that won't overwhelm you, for example, "This week I will eat one salad instead of a carb-heavy meal I normally eat."  Or, "This week I will ask a friend to join me in doing a physical activity I enjoy, like playing tennis." Just having a goal written down on your fridge can help you remember that you and your needs are important. 

Here are some strategies for relieving tension and caring for yourself:
1. Deep Breathing
2. Guided Imagery
3. Mediation
4. Progressive muscle relaxation
5. Yoga
6. Praying
7. Music
8. Walking outside in the sunshine
9. Positive self-talk
10. Playing with children

One critical mistake I've made when managing my stress and tension is relying too heavily on my spouse. People get married to have someone around, besides their mother, who will tell them everything is going to be ok and give them a band-aid. This is a helpful and positive role your spouse can play in your life, but they are not an open keg you can tap to fill your emotional cup. Hence the SELF in self-care. 

I know it can seem daunting, but when you accept the challenge of caring for yourself the rewards are huge. You, your spouse, your children, your friends, neighbors, and complete strangers all benefit. 

I found that positive affirmations can also be extremely helpful in relieving stress, shifting your awareness and reframing your situation. Here are a few that have been especially helpful to me:

"I accept myself for who I am right now."
"I allow myself to think and dream in unlimited ways." 
"I expect only the best to happen and it does."
"I trust that everything comes at the perfect time and in the perfect way."
"All my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity and vision." 

There is a Chinese Proverb that says, "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Spend some time by yourself. Get to know who you are and what you need. You'll find much more satisfying solutions to your challenges if you do. Take good care of yourself. 

Lead Me

I love this song and just thought I'd share. Keep up the good work Fathers.

Mia's First Day of School

My oldest daughter, Mia started school today. She is the beneficiary of a Federal education grant that her school administrators applied for. As a result, she and 19 other five year-olds get four extra weeks of public education. Her first day of class consisted of a school provided breakfast, storytime, arts and crafts time, math, recess, and school provided lunch. She mentioned that she played "princess and the dragon with a boy named Micheal who has yellow hair." Sounds good.

I was surprised to learn that the kids would be getting breakfast and lunch as part of the program...but I'm not complaining. Her teacher explained that they want the children to be able to focus on learning, not grumbling tummies. Hmm. I always thought my daughters tummy was my responsibility. I don't want to get on a political soapbox here, but these kinds of things are happening a lot. Why? Why do they expect that I won't feed my child? What's next? School showers? Bunkhouses in the back for kids who can't get a good nights sleep at home? I honestly don't know what to make of it. On the one hand I'm pleased with the convenience offered, but on the other hand I feel like I'm getting benched as the chief cook and bottle washer. And don't even get me started with, whose paying for all this.

In any event, I asked Mia how the first day went and she said, "It was AWESOME!" Then I asked her if she wants to come back again tomorrow and she said, "YES!" Our adventures in education have only just begun. Wish us luck!

Magic

In the city where I live there have been quite a few kiddy magic shows this summer.  I've taken the girls to some and invited their cousins too. I love magic. Sure, it's mostly hocky tricks, but it is fun. More importantly, it makes you wonder what you can really do, and question limitations.

I love to see children's authentic emotions. Joy is just that simple.

The first magician we saw was Louie Fox. He was young, funny and a little cheesey. Mia loved him so much she wanted to take a picture with him and put her signed handbill on her bedroom wall. What a fangirl. :)

The other magician performed a magical storytime for the Auburn Library. He was older, grayer, and reminded me of the scary bookstore owner in The Never Ending Story.

After attending these events, Teryn said to me one day, "Mom, I want to be a magical unicorn when I grow up." Mission Accomplished. 

Dancing

For many years now I have enjoyed a wonderful show on Fox called So You Think You Can Dance. Every year I pick my favorite contestant; the one who I think embodies greatness through skill, technique, versatility and a genuine love of dance that inspires me.  I have a few favorites this year but I find myself smiling the most when a guy named Cyrus Spencer is dancing.

This kid has such limited dancing expereince. He had no idea what a jette was when he started the show. He's trying. He loves to dance. He is humble and unassuming and he is very unlikely to win the top honors on the show...but for me he is a true inspiration. This Saturday is National Dance Day and I plan to take the girls to the big city to experience some of the dance events planned for Seattle.

Tonight for Family Home Evening we read our daughters a book called Dumpy La Rue by Elizabeth Winthrop.

In the book, Dumpy, a pig on a farm decides he wants to dance. Everyone he tells discourages him. But he persists and over time the nay-sayers can't help but get on board that Dumpy had a good idea. They even join in. There is a line in the story when the other animals are thinking about trying dancing too and they ask Dumpy what music he's dancing to and he says, "You can't hear it, of course. It's all in my head. You have it to. If you want to dance, if you want to glide, just close your eyes and listen inside." In some ways we are each like the pig who wanted to dance. I am giving myself permission to listen to the music inside and do what is right for me, no matter what.

I've been listening to a wonderful audio book I borrowed through the King County Library system. It's called The Ultimate Anti-Career Guide. In a nutshell, it talks about figuring out and doing what you were born to do. It blends an East meets West philosophy to help frenzied Americans learn to listen to the music inside. If you get a chance I highly recommend listening to this inspiring collection. It's available on Amazon for $40! Get it now!

I am 32 years old and as I look back over my career that spans about 12 years now I can see so many mis-steps. I identify mis-steps as times when I didn't listen to my own heart. I spent a lot of time listening to what someone else wanted for me. I don't regret my past, the jobs I've had, or the mis-steps I've made. But I will learn from them. From now on, I will "listen inside" and keep dancing.