Valentine's Day

I LOVE Valentine's Day. This year was awesome. I threw a party for Mia and Teryn and four of their friends. We ate heart-shaped waffles for dinner along with berry punch and strawberries. We decorated cookies, colored a big poster that said "Happy Valentine's Day," watched a Strawberry Shortcake movie about friendship, danced to Justin Bieber, made heart leis and ate pink M&M's all night long.

As if that wasn't enough love for one day, Adam totally surprised me. There is a youth group in our area that was raising money for a summer camping adventure with a Valentine's Day package. Adam had the group serenade me at home, bring me a dozen white roses, deliver six hand-dipped chocolates and a hand-written note from The Shum. I detail all of this here on my blog because #1 I thought the fund-raiser idea was brilliant! #2 I think my man deserves all the praise he can get. #3 I want everyone to know that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be awful.

The first song the serenaders sang was a song that is sentimental to me. Let Me Call You Sweetheart by Bing Crosby.

The last song they sang was How Do You Know He Loves You, from the Disney movie Enchanted.

I love these songs. I think we could all use a little more love in our lives. I hope your Valentine's Day was filled with Love. I hope your every day is filled with Love.

If you want to have a good laugh about Valentine's Day and love in general, you should watch this episode of 30 ROCK.

"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence."

Vincent Van Gogh

The American Dream

Recently President Obama spoke in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He's been addressing "The American Dream," in many of his please-reelect-me speeches.

"If you're willing to put in the work, the idea is that you should be able to raise a family and own a home; not go bankrupt because you got sick, because you've got some health insurance that helps you deal with those difficult times; that you can send your kids to college; that you can put some money away for retirement," Obama said.

"That's all most people want," he said. "Folks don't have unrealistic ambitions. They do believe that if they work hard they should be able to achieve that small measure of an American Dream."

Reading his remarks in this and other venues has made me a question what the American Dream really is these days?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the term American Dream was first used in 1931, in the middle of the Great Depression. It is defined as "an American social ideal that stresses egalitarianism and especially material prosperity; also : the prosperity or life that is the realization of this ideal." For example, "With the acquisition of a big house in the suburbs, they felt as though the American dream had indeed become a reality for them."

So generally speaking the American Dream is:

A home that you own

Healthcare

Money for your children for college

Money saved for retirement

Here is how the American Dream has shaken out for this hard-working gal.

I've owned a home for 7 years, my payments are on time and current, and I owe more on it that it's worth. That's roughly $84,000 I've spent on a home and I have little to no equity.

I've paid healthcare insurance premiums my entire working life sometimes as high as $300/month. I'm still paying off my 4-year old and that pesky pulmonary embolism I had last year.

By the time my kids reach college age they will need somewhere in the ballpark of $40,000/year each to go to college. They currently get about $25/month each in their savings accounts so in 14 years they will each have a little over $4000.

Retirement age for my generation has now been pushed to 65. Social security will be bankrupt in the next decade. Wall Street has dwindled our retirement savings down by 30%. Nursing homes cost between $5,000 and $10,000/month now. In 50 years, if you calculate inflation at 2% they will cost double that when I'm 80.

Wherein lies the dream? This is an American Nightmare.

People all over America are taking this dilemma seriously. Here are some of the things they are doing to overcome this troubling gap between dreams and reality.

-Taking diet and exercise seriously to maintain the best possible health without expensive surgeries and drugs. Check out ideas at www.fooduciary.com

-Paying off their homes in 15 years to avoid the interest payments while providing themselves with a place to retire.Check out ideas at www.mindmoneymentor.com

-Helping their children to develop skills/talents that will later translate into scholarships. I love the ideas at Student Bank.com

Good luck finding and achieving your dream, whatever it is. We're all in this together!

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt

Working vs. Stay at Home Mom

This topic has been jingling around in my mind for quite some time. I don't know how else to introduce my post than to say that I want to weigh in on one of the most hotly debated questions for women of my generation. One day my daughters will face the question of wether to work or stay home and maybe they'll want to know what I was thinking, "back then."

I started my first job when I was 15, I could not wait to have a job. I wanted to build a resume. I wanted the freedom that only comes from cold hard cash. I wanted to impress my parents, siblings, friends and teachers. I wanted a life outside of home and school. I worked at the local movie theater, then became a lifeguard (motivated by my sun worship and interest in buff guys), then worked for a small resort in Utah called The Wintergreen at Midway marketing timeshares, managed a few DownEast Outfitters, managed a few Seagull Books, directed the marketing for Cedar Fort, published a few books, directed the marketing for Millennial Press, managed the advertising needs for all the KFC's in California for a brief stint and then chucked my promising career in marketing to teach English in Japan. I honestly loved every job on that list.

In the middle of all that ladder climbing I married the man of my dreams, bought a house, had two daughters within a year, finished a degree in Communications/Public Relations at Brigham Young University and managed to hang on to a few brave souls who were crazy enough to want to be my friends.

Sometimes I look at those things and think, "Yeah ! I did that! What a GREAT career! How awesome am I?!!!" Then there are the other times, the more honest times. During those times I think, "I was totally out of my mind! I have been burning the candle at both ends big time! How could I possibly have thought that was a good idea??!!"

So I'm not telling anyone what they ought to do. The decision to work or stay home has so many implications no one else can make that choice for you. It wouldn't be possible. But I've been home with my daughters now for the better part of seven months and I choose them. As one of my friends told me once, "My kids need me and I need them." I was managing millions of dollars in marketing budgets at that point, so I totally didn't understand what she was talking about, but I do now.

My days are filled with real meals at the kitchen table, story time, walks, movies, snuggling, correcting bad behavior and praising good behavior. For me, no other job could compete with this.

My career can wait. Whatever stuff I thought I wanted to buy with my extra income can wait. My daughters don't have to wait anymore. They've waited long enough.

I embrace the life of a stay-at-home-mom. I love having time for myself, my man, and my kids. I don't miss the suits, the travel, fine dining, prestige, power, or parties. I was so afraid I would, but I don't.

Being home with my daughters has changed me. I don't run around like a chicken with my head chopped off anymore. I don't rely on my husband for day-to-day household tasks. I have time to think about stuff I didn't before like what Mia should learn before she starts kindergarten. I take better care of myself...mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I help other people with my time and attention, rather than paying my way out of helping others. I feel much more peace and balance.

I know it's a tough choice, no matter what you choose, but for me, for now, I choose to stay home.

New Beginning

I was hoping to make a post today about Adam's new job...but that was before the Seattle Snowpocalypse forced Adam to reschedule the three promising interviews he had set up this week. When it snows in Seattle this entire area just shuts down. So Adam has one offer in hand, it's from his 4th choice out of 4 possibilities currently in process. We're getting closer. We both believe Adam will have accepted one of the four jobs within the next week.

Without overstating the obvious, that means we aren't going back to Japan right now. We're all at varying levels of disappointment about that reality. Our work visas from Japan have still not been approved. The other family that came back in the same boat as us decided to cancel their visa through GEM School and pursue visas through another school. They return to Japan in two weeks and we are envious. Having said that, we have sustained massive financial loses because of this visa setback. We have lost tens of thousands of dollars to follow our dreams. But, dreams don't pay the bills folks. :)

Adam has been preparing in every conceivable way to make his interviews a success and so have his recruiters. I believe in him and his skills, but a few extra prayers wouldn't hurt. As much fun as it has been to live with Grandma and Grandpa Jex, it sure would be nice to move into a place of our own. This January, this job, this state...these all mark some aspect of our family's new beginnings. 2012 has unimaginable adventures in store for our family; making sure we are heading out on the right foot is our main priority now. With the help of our faith, family and friends we are working toward a great year in 2012.

Praise for Patagonia

You may not have heard, especially if your power has been down like mine, but Seattle has been experiencing Snowpocalypse for the last three days. It snowed 6 inches on Wednesday. Then the power went out as freezing rain descended upon us for nearly 48 straight hours. Trees have been falling down on cars, homes and power lines as snow and ice have weighed them down. Fortunately our family has all come out of this experienced unscathed. We've had generators, food, candles...you name it...we've been prepared.

There was one issue I was really nervous about when the snow started falling...my feet. I didn't have any boots. Our family stocked up on gear when we were preparing to go back to Japan and I bought myself a pair of Patagonia Toast and Jam Boots. I expected mild weather in Seattle and knew the rubber soles would get me through the standard rain and slush. Little did I expect weather conditions like these! The great news is that my pigskin leather and rubber sole shoes totally protected my feet during four hours of sledding. My shoes were soaked, my feet were dry and toasty. I am so thrilled with Patagonia right now I just had to give them a atta-boy on my blog. I will be a Patagonia customer for life.

Here is a link to a pair of shoes similar to mine, I couldn't find the exact ones.

http://www.backcountry.com/patagonia-footwear-toast-and-jam-shoe-mens.html

Acupuncture

My life has been less than balanced lately. Name a major aspect of your life, anything that brings you peace and happiness. Chances are good that any aspect you can think of is in upheaval in my life. During this time of major transition I've been feeling stressed, afraid, nervous, anxious, even depressed. There has been a general overarching "stuck," feeling accompanied by confusion about what I should do. I've been managing all of that, as well as I could, and then Adam and I got sick. (Sinusitis and Bronchitis I now know.)

So yesterday I finally broke down and went to a lovely new community health clinic in Seatac to see an M.D. My appointment was brief and productive, my doctor was kind and helpful. While I was waiting I read all the information posted around the clinic and I learned that they have an acupuncturist on staff every Thursday. I discovered that he was in the office, and available!

The Health Point Community Health Center

After just 5 minutes of paperwork the receptionist lead me back to a large, dim room. There was cello music playing on a small CD player. That music immediately made me feel calmer. I was seated in a zero gravity chair, along with 3 other silent patients. The practitioner, Paul Griffin, quietly talked with me about me while he softly checked my pulse on my wrists and ankles. He inserted tiny, painless needles in my ears, wrists, ankles, knees and toes. When the second needle was placed in my ankle my right eye started twitching, it soon stopped. When he was done I laid back in the chair and thought.

My mid was so clear. Maybe clearer than it has ever been. I thought about myself, my family, my life, and my future. I was calm, peaceful, relaxed, focused, motivated, energized and completely clear about what I needed to do. The entire process took about 20 minutes. This clinic I went to is open to anyone. They charge people based on a sliding scale of income, the lowest bracket pays only $10 and the highest bracket pays just $35. I set another appointment for next Thursday...for me and Adam.

They say that acupuncture is about energy, freeing energy to flow more naturally within you. That is exactly how I would describe the way I feel. I know I'm not the first person to discover the awesome wonder of this experience, but I wish more people knew about it. I wish I had had the chance to participate in it sooner.

Christmas in the Northwest

With Christmas only a week away I would like to say Merry Christmas! I hope this has been a season of peace, love, hope and new beginnings for your family; thankfully it has been for mine. Every time I'm tempted to be discouraged that we are in Seattle rather than spending this year in Japan I stop myself and think of my daughters simple prayers. Each night they kneel beside Adam and I and say things like, "Thank you that we could play with our cousins," and "Thank you that we can spend Christmas at Grandma's." Their gratitude reminds me to be grateful.

We decided not to send out many Christmas cards this year, 10 to be exact. (I think I sent out 100 last year.) I added a simple photo that I took myself in those ten cards. It shows Mia and Teryn merrily swinging on a tire swing. I included this photo because it typifies what our family is focused on right now, simplicity, family, fun and uncomplicated love.

Wherever you live, whatever you are up to this season I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

P.S. If you would like to send me a Christmas Card my address for the moment is 10831 SE 190th PL, Renton, WA 98055.