The Help

I went and saw, The Help, with my Mom tonight. I have really missed my Mom and this movie was just what we needed. We laughed, we cried, we were reminded of the unbreakable bond between women. My Mom is the kind of Mom I wish everyone had. My Mom was always an individual, she was a wife, a mother of 5, but she was pretty good at just being Cathy. She liked to sew, bake bread, garden, read lots of books, take walks and visit friends and family. Somehow she seemed to have time to tend to all of our needs too; she would help my brothers deliver papers for their paper routes, assist in my girl scout troop, have dinner on the table by 5:30 every night and have brown bag lunches ready on the counter for all 5 kids by 7:00 AM. What a woman!

My Mom has always been great with kids. All 5 of her kids are married and she has 11 grandkids to play with...so far. My Mom teaches kindergarten at Benson Hill Elementary School in Renton, WA. She was honored last year by a local TV station for being an outstanding teacher. She knows more silly songs and children's books than Mr. Rogers. When Mia asked her for some chips tonight she turned the conversation into a math problem involving adding and subtracting chips. My Mom is a cool grandma.

In the movie, The Help, one of the main characters is a 29 year-old writer, and her Mom kind of blew it as her mother from time to time. All Moms kind of blow being a good mom from time to time. Lord knows I blow it. There is power in the truth. My Mom is not perfect, never was, never will be...but I love her for giving her imperfect self to the task of being my Mom, then, now and always.

My Mom turns 60 in November and as I sat in the movie theater tonight noticing her grey hair out of the corner of my eye and holding her soft, thin hand I thought about what she means to me and how much I love her. Motherhood can feel like a pretty thankless job sometimes. I am fortunate and thankful to have a Mom like mine.

Japan

Now that I'm back in Seattle I've been thinking a lot about Japan. I love Japan. In only 2 1/2 months I have learned many valuable lessons just from being there and observing life and people. Here are some of the lessons in bullet-point form. (I'm boiling it down for all you Americans with your short attention spans. :) haha

1. Kids are valuable. Your time with them is precious. Make it count and then let them go.

2. You do not need very much food and water to survive, just eat less.

3. Pay cash for everything, it just makes life more simple and pain-free.

4. If you're going to indulge in eating ice cream eat the good stuff.

5. Your community is very important, give and take. Make a contribution with your presence.

6. Take your shoes off at the door, cleaning the floor every day is such a pain.

7. Don't waste electricity, in fact use it as little as possible, it can be fun.

8. Respect your elders.

9. Try to visit your hometown a least once a year.

10. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and challenges.

11. If you have a problem that is making your life miserable change yourself or your life or both.

12. You don't need more than 6 outfits. Use them up. Wear them out. Then buy new things as needed.

13. Ridding yourself of excess is just as easy as saying, "No, thank you." Say, "No, thank you" more often.

14. Spend more time outside.

15. Make more friends, you can never have too many.

Adam and I will be returning to Japan as soon as our new visas have been processed. We will be staying with my parents in the meantime. Mia and Teryn were angels on the 15+ hours of travel time from Japan to Seattle. We may be here anywhere from 1-8 weeks. There is no way of knowing how long it will take. While we're here I have a small wishlist of American things to buy or do. I really want to eat pizza (A large pizza costs about $35 in Japan!!). We want to see movies in a theater (In Japan they cost $20 a ticket and the closest theater to us is an hour away!) We want to buy shoes that fit us (In Japan my feet are size XXXL!!! Otherwise known as size 10 here,) We're going to IKEA to pick up some organizational items. (Helpful in a 500 sq. ft. apartment!) We'll also be stopping by Costco to pick up some maple syrup, peanut butter and M&M's.

Quick updates

Two quick items of business:

1. Adam and I have both deactivated our Facebook accounts. We may or may not reactivate them. I'm sorry that this blog has to be the only way I share thoughts and photos, but it will have to do. I hope my friends and family will continue to check in on our Japan adventures here. We hate that it has to be this way, but the internet gives access to anyone and everyone and we don't need everyone keeping tabs on our family.

2. We moved to apartment 303 this week...so our address has changed. Same street address as below, it's just apartment 303 now.

That's it, thanks, love you!

Obon

Obon is happening in Japan right now. It lasts from August 13-16. It is a time each year when Japanese citizens, regardless of religious affiliation, honor their ancestors. It is a common misconception that Obon is about kimonos, dancing, music and food. Those things are important aspects of Japanese culture and are usually a part of summer festivals that happen to take place during and around Obon.

My students were willing to share their thoughts with me today about Obon. I wanted to share some of those thoughts with you.

My students said festivities have nothing to do with Obon, really. Obon is a private, sacred time. Many people honor their ancestors by cleaning their graves and putting flowers on their tombstones. That part reminds me of Memorial Day in America. They pray to their ancestors at shrines in their homes. They give thanks to their ancestors for everything. They spend hours doing this, for three straight days.

Being an American, I asked an Americanized questions: so what if during Obon your children are sick, you have money problems or things are not going well with your family? Then would you kneel at your shrine and berate your ancestors? For one second there was silence and then Yoshiaki said something I will never forget,"children sick, not dead."

Then there was a general consensus that you would NEVER complain to your ancestors, that would be ridiculous, you would only give much thanks always.

Do you ever get the feeling that you've missed the point of everything? Today I have that feeling.

Today, I honor the ancestors of my students for teaching them these things so that they would be able to share them with me so sincerely. I honor my ancestors who left homes of comfort to move to the United States, or Utah, or Seattle and provide me with the blessed life I now enjoy. I clean graves and light lanterns in their honor. I believe our ancestors watch over us. I believe we will be together again someday. With some practice, I hope not to waste one more moment complaining, but only giving thanks always.

Japanese Gyoza

This recipe is a new family favorite. Yum!

• Japanese Gyoza
• makes 30

• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 2 cups chopped cabbage
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1 clove garlic, chopped
• 1/4 cup chopped carrot
• 1/2 pound ground pork
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 (10 ounce) package wonton wrappers
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar

Directions

1. Heat sesame oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Mix in cabbage, onion, garlic and carrot. Cook and stir until cabbage is limp. Mix in ground pork and egg. Cook until pork is evenly brown and egg is no longer runny.
2. Preheat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium high heat.
3. Place approximately 1 tablespoon of the cabbage and pork mixture in the center of each wrapper. Fold wrappers in half over filling, and seal edges with moistened fingers.
4. In the preheated vegetable oil, cook gyoza approximately 1 minute per side, until lightly browned. Place water into skillet and reduce heat. Cover and allow gyoza to steam until the water is gone.
5. In a small bowl, mix soy sauce and rice vinegar. Use the mixture as a dipping sauce for the finished wrappers.

The Temple in Kanonji

There is a Buddhist temple in Kanonji. It sits on the top of a beautiful hill in the midst of lush jungle foliage. You have to hike up roughly 200 steep steps to reach the temple. In 100 degree heat it takes a lot of determination to reach the top. My friend Amy and I had 4 toddlers with us on our hike to the Temple this week. Hiking to a temple makes you think. Making that trek makes you consider spiritual matters. As I hiked and roasted, I thought.

I thought about the service rendered to me by the people decades before who built those great stone steps. I thought about the service rendered to me by my ancestors. I thought about the service rendered to me by friends, family members and complete strangers throughout my life. Then, I thought about the service we can each give or withhold.

After reaching the top my daughters were tired and crying. Instead of yelling at them to hush up, or swatting their bums for being whinny, I held them. I wrapped my sweaty arms around them and they nestled their sweaty heads into my neck. I kissed them and told them how much I love them. I was prepared to give the service that was required.

Today I learned the value of visiting a sacred place.

Cookies Even I Wouldn't Eat

Japan is filled with hilarious products. I found these in the cookie aisle today. Hmm. I think I'll stick with Oreos.