You Are What You Think About

I believe that we become what we think about. Each person on this planet either consciously or unconsciously creates their existence by their own thoughts. Many great philosophers, sages and prophets have been teaching this principle for centuries. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus Christ said, "Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you, seek and ye shall find." I have spent some quality time recently asking, knocking and seeking.


Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” I have spent lots of time dreaming. 


I see my life as one big empty canvas, the masterpiece is in it's early stages. One day when I am old and exhausted I will sit on my rocker and close my eyes and see that it is finally completed. I bought the paint when I was young. I picked physical activity, intellectual pursuits, spirituality, friendship, family, and a few dozen other interests as my mediums.  I've dabbled with a few brush strokes including marriage, motherhood, marketing, publishing, college and travel. But I've barely begun. 


I've been thinking and dreaming. 


I'm especially fond of my daughters. Before I had children a dear friend of mine said something like...if you ever have kids you'll never be the kind of Mom that gives 100% to your kids. You'll have to be the PTA president, and write a book, and travel the world...and also stay home. I don't know about the whole PTA President thing, but I know something else is coming. My friend was right. Mia and Teryn provide me with unlimited inspiration. I love sharing this season of my journey with them. What's coming will definitely include my darling muses. 


I am also fond of new experiences. I feel like this world is full of so many amazing things to discover. I love culture, sports, art, education, the outdoors, making new friends, and finding inner peace. What's coming will expand my horizons. 


I am in a family of language lovers. I took college level French at BYU. Adam took Spanish. Adam, the girls and I are all currently working on our Japanese skills. I imagine language skills will be part of what's ahead. 


I am connected by degree and desire to communications, marketing, advertising and public relations. My skill-set will certainly be put to good use in what's coming next. 


It's interesting to look at my past and realize, "Hey! I think I finally get what all that was for!" 


I am satisfied that I have selected the perfect paints, and brushes and the canvas is calling. 

Independence

 Independence is a theme that has been on my mind a lot lately. Mia ia starting Kindergarten in the Fall, we moved out into our own place after eight months of unexpected living with my parents, and I am finally living a life that is true to my values as an at-home Mom. For these reasons and others I am taking a minute to write about this time of independence in my life.

Mia is turning five in about a week. She is a bright child and loves to learn. When her new Principal asked her what she was most looking forward to learning about in Kindergarten she said, "Hmm, colors, numbers, letters, reading...uh...what else is there?" I know I'm not alone in feeling this way as a mother of a kindergartener, but I can't believe my once completely dependent baby will be independent of me for three hours every day. I can hardly wait to see what will become of my Mia.

My parents had no choice but to host us when we called from Japan and gave them the news that our work visas were not forthcoming and we would have to return to the U.S. much sooner than expected. As empty-nesters they were accommodating and helpful. They enjoyed our helping out with cooking and cleaning. I enjoyed the precious one-on-one time I got to spend with my Dad. Adam and I felt secure during our stay knowing that we all were working towards a positive relationship with each other. But. There is a holy and healthy distance that exists between members of families usually. We need our space. We have been enjoying that refreshing independence for about a week. I learned a quote from Latter-day Saint Prophet Ezra Taft Benson while at BYU, he said, "Live in a tent if you have to, but after you marry, do not live with your parents." We've had our chance to get our feet back under us, and now we are happily moving on.

I never imagined being an at-home Mom would give me independence, but it has. I always thought it would make me more dependent. I was wrong. I find myself with time to myself almost every day, which never happened when I was working outside the home. I am free to teach and love my kids in any way I see fit rather than hoping that someone else will. I find myself happily fulfilling my responsibilities at home rather than dreading them after a long day at the office. Most days I just revel in the miracle that is my life. I know our family transformation took a rather dramatic turn when we left Utah for Japan and then ended up back in Seattle, but I've seen miracles in every step of the journey.

I am truly filled with gratitude for every moment in my life, and the peaceful independence I am now being blessed to experience.